VikingsTailgate.com- Columns, Bar of the Year

Saturday, 05/17/2008

YOU MIGHT BE A VIKINGS FAN FROM MINNESOTA (SPECIFICALLY THE TWIN CITIES) IF...

You might be a Viking fan if you show up to games expecting to see you fun people in the tailgating lot!
Help Mookie BUY the VIKINGS or a cool Tailgate vehicle!
Donate to the cause. 600 Million is needed to buy the team and keep the tailgating website going. By donating to our ownership drive, we will someday be able to take over the team, it's official website, all the free-agency signings, the hiring and firing of coaches etc. Maybe we could even control the idiot media? Wouldn't that be AWESOME? Vikes fans deserve a Super Bowl, and when we finally buy the Vikings (or a cool tailgate vehicle) then it will all make sense. VikingsTailgate.com thanks you!

YOU MEASURE THE DISTANCE IN MINUTES
WEATHER IS 80% OF YOUR CONVERSATION
SNOW TIRES CAME STANDARD ON YOUR CAR
YOU HAVE NO CONCEPT OF PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION
75% OF YOUR GRADUATING CLASS WENT TO THE UNIVERSITY OF MINNESOTA
YOU KNOW MORE THAN ONE PERSON WHO HAS HIT A DEER
YOU KNOW WHAT AND WHERE DINKYTOWN IS
PERKINS WAS A POPULAR HANGOUT IN HIGH SCHOOL
YOU HAVE NO PROBLEM SAYING OR SPELLING MINNEAPOLIS
YOU CAN LIST ALL THE DALES, EVEN MONDALE
YOU HATE FARGO(movie) BUT REALIZE THAT A LOT OF YOURFAMILY TALKS THAT WAY
YOU GET MAD AT PEOPLE WHO THINK FARGO IS IN MINNESOTA
YOUR SCHOOL CLASSES HAVE BEEN CANCELLED BECAUSE OF SNOW OR COLD
YOU ASSUME WHEN YOU SAY "THE CITIES" PEOPLE KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT
YOU HAVE TRIED BOILED FISH IN LYE AT CHRISTMAS
YOU KNOW THE 2 SPORTS-RELATED REASONS WHY WE HATE DALLAS
NOTHING GETS YOU MADDER THAN SEEING A GREEN BAY STICKER ON A MN CAR
YOU KNOW WHAT UFF-DA MEANS AND HOW TO USE IT PROPERLY
YOU'RE A LOYAL TARGET SHOPPER
YOU'VE LICKED FROZEN METAL
THE ONLY REASON YOU GO TO WISCONSIN IS TO GET FIREWORKS, TO BUY BEER ON SUNDAYS OR YOU GOT BAD DIRECTIONS
YOU WEAR SHORTS WHEN IT'S 50 DEGREES IN MARCH, BUT BUNDLE UP AND COMPLAIN IN AUGUST WHEN IT GOES BELOW 60 DEGREES.
YOU KNOW PEOPLE THAT HAVE MORE FISHING POLES THAN TEETH
YOU HAVE BEEN LOST DRIVING FOR MORE THAN 1 HOUR IN ST. PAUL
WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT THE OPENER YOU ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT CANS
YOU HAVE GONE TRICK OR TREATING IN MORE THAN 3 FEET
YOU KNOW THAT WHEN IT COMES TO AM, THERE IS ONLY WCCO
YOU CARRY JUMPER CABLES IN YOUR CAR
YOU DRINK POP, NOT SODA
IN A CONVERSATION YOU HEARD SOMEONE SAY "YAH, SURE, YOU BETCHA" AND YOU DIDN'T LAUGH
EVERYONE YOU KNOW HAS A CABIN
YOU KNOW THAT LAKE WOBEGON ISN'T REAL AND YOU KNOW WHO MADE IT UP.
YOU VOTED FOR A PRO WRESTLER FOR GOVERNOR... AND HE WON